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Amaka Chibuzo-Obi, a Confidence Coach, is the founder of Wivesroundtable – a media organisation which runs a TV and Radio talk show dedicated to empowering women with valuable information to help them and their families lead wholesome lives. In this interview by YEJIDE GBENGA-OGUNDARE, the computer science graduate speaks on women empowerment, women leadership and helping low income entrepreneurs, among other issues.
What does Wivesroundtable platform do for women?
I started Wivesroundtable in 2013 and have used the programme to reach and impact over two million people in the four regions of the country. I also run The Wivesroundtable Foundation – an NGO dedicated to empowering low income female entrepreneurs with education and social support to grow and scale their businesses.
As a woman, how do you push all you do without being overwhelmed, especially as someone who has a platform for women to hold conversations?
I am a firm believer in and advocate of “Life Harmony” – what many call “work-life balance.” I am so passionate about this cause that I wrote a book entitled ‘Balance in Stilettos – Finding harmony in an overwhelming world.’
This book takes the reader through practical, real life stories of five women as well as myself and how we journeyed to attain harmony in the discharge of our duties.
The thing is that, many women take on the role of ‘everything to everyone at every time’, and this is what puts so much pressure on us and causes us to be overwhelmed and burn out.
Balance, in the sense people think about it, is difficult, if not impossible to attain, because the versions of balance people have is the version where every part of the woman’s life is given equal attention every time. This is a hard thing to achieve because life is not that straightforward at all times.
My trick is effective use of prioritisation. We need to learn to prioritise based on what is most important per time. What do I want to achieve? What do I need to do right now to achieve what I want to achieve? What is my priority at this time? What is my motive for embarking on this goal? Is it something that goes to the greater good and will give me peace? Questions like these will help us juggle all we have to do without burning out. That is how I have kept my sanity as a woman, wife, mum, entrepreneur, social impact worker and coach.
Some believe that many young women today are lazy and are looking for soft landing. Do you agree?
This is sort of a trick question. Truth is, every generation has young women who are lazy and want a soft landing, without wanting to put in any effort. Our generation, the 80s babies, had it. The generation before us had it and so forth.
The ‘soft life’ saga in this generation seems to be so much more pronounced because of the digitization of the world. We see it more now. It is thrust in our faces more. And this assault on our senses is creating even more young women who have chosen this ‘soft life’ which they see and admire.
Most of my staff are young women of this Gen Z generation and they are hard working, responsible and focused. It may seem tough to find, but there are still many young women today who know the value of work and effort
Can women be good leaders?
Oh absolutely, 100% Yes! Women are great leaders! Women have the innate strength to be holistic in their approach to issues. Women have been known to turn organisations around to increase productivity and effectiveness.
How can women prove their worth beyond being seen as cheer leaders and sex objects?
I don’t know if there is anything to prove to anyone. I just admonish women to ignore the noise and distractions and do the work required to take them to the height they want to go, in whatever field they choose. Proving a point is waste of energy. Just do the work and the naysayers will get their answer from your results.
What do you think about the general belief that attributes a woman’s success to sexual promiscuity and assistance from men?
People will think what they want, believe what they want. This belief isn’t new. It’s been there from time immemorial. People label what they don’t understand. In their own primitive way, they try to make sense of something they can’t easily explain.
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Like I said, let’s just do the work and allow our results speak for us. And when accused, show the system and structure that brought you where you are. “Show working” like we say here in Nigeria. That’s why I encourage women to document their journey, so that if ever the need arises to ‘defend’ your success, you will be able to, without issues.
How do you stand on your principles and identify women with similar purpose to work with?
My values guide everything I do. If it isn’t in line with my values, you won’t find me doing it. And because of my heightened self-awareness and social intelligence, I am able to perceive people whose values and goals align with mine. I try to cultivate a relationship with these people. Working with them is an icing on the cake of the relationship we have built already.
How can women stand up to bullies in the society, especially on social media?
Be firm yet respectful to everyone. Even on social media, create boundaries. There are some people who are rarely bullied because of the kind of persona they put up on social media. Bullies prey on the weak. Don’t give them a reason to think you are weak. Also don’t react while angry online. Always remember that the Internet never forgets. So don’t go saying things in anger that will haunt you for a long time. Like I said, be firm yet respectful. Or, if you can, just ignore the bullies. They eventually wither away when the negativity juice they feed on isn’t replenished
Will you say women are given a chance to reach their potentials in Nigeria?
Not as much as it should be. Like most places in Africa, Nigeria still has a long way to go in helping women reach their full potential. But my joy is that, Nigerian women aren’t waiting around for Nigeria to help them actualize. They are actually taking their destinies into their hands, working on themselves to reach their full potentials irrespective of the many steep hurdles we have to overcome in a patriarchal society such as ours.
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