Dear Bunmi,
We’ve been married for over four years now and have two sons. Our sex life was good until recently when my husband, who is in his mid-30’s, started experiencing erectile failure. He has since resorted to watching blue films whenever we want to make love.
This easily excites him and he keeps the film on during sex. I find this very disgusting. At first I thought it was to help him get his sex drive back. Now I feel he is making love to the characters in the sick movies, not me.
Ruth, by e-mail.
Dear Ruth,
Could your husband be worried about anything that could cause his not being able to be aroused by you? You have to talk to him about how unhappy he is making you feel and why he’s suddenly behaving the way he is. It’s often something that has nothing to do with the relationship that turns men off sex.
If he has lost confidence in himself, you need to help him find it. Watching blue films together once in a while is healthy if it is what you both want.
