Father’s Day: The Loads No One Sees

Today, 21st June, is recognized as Father’s Day in most countries that follow the U.S. pattern of celebration, while variations exist in countries like Australia, which celebrates on the first Sunday in September; Brazil, which celebrates on the second Sunday in August; and others that mark the third Sunday in June. The variation in the date is not a concern, but the fact that a day is recognized as Father’s Day is very important for fathers. The man at the center of the family shows the recognition of the “neck load” — the invisible, heavy burden of responsibility that rests mainly on the shoulders of a responsible father.

This weight is not a complaint; it is an affirmation of the God-given responsibility and an in-depth understanding of the meaning of a responsible father in a family. Hence, this article critically examines the background of fatherhood, the relentless responsibilities of a father, and the quiet strength needed to navigate its complexity.

Fatherhood has evolved massively over the decades. It was once counted as “breadwinner,” the sole provider for material security for the family. However, the narrative has shifted. Fathers are not only providing a paycheck, but they are also involving emotional intelligence, active participation, and a nurturing presence in the day-to-day affairs of the family.

A responsible father is expected to be a co-parent, a teacher, a shoulder to lean on, and a good model of resilience for the family. This is not only the responsibility of the responsible father; he must always be at the front door of the house. In fact, in a house, you will see that a father moves from one room to the other at night to ensure everyone is in a safe condition. This evolution has added to the “neck load,” turning it from a purely financial burden into a complex psychological and emotional responsibility for fathers.

This article chronically looks at the three major duties of a father, which I call the 3Ps of responsibility.

*The first P is Provider* – Providing necessary support for the family is the most pronounced load. A responsible father does have sleepless nights sometimes, worrying about food, school fees, house rent, and the incessant rising cost of living globally. It gives a responsible father a daily grind to ensure the fridge is full and the lights stay on, while the kitchen store is not filled with empty promises.

*The second P is Protector* – This comprises both physical safety and emotional safeguarding of the family. A responsible father is to shield children from the harshness of the world while slowly teaching them how to survive it. This indicates that a responsible father is perceived as a wall that the family leans on when the winds of life blow hard.

*The last P is Preparer* – This is the long-term responsibility for a responsible father. He must prepare his children for a world he will not always be in by teaching them values, discipline with love, and letting them know the difference between what is right and what is wrong so they do away with the wrong ones. This shows that the father is not only to raise children but to raise future adults.

However, navigating fatherhood today is akin to walking a tightrope in a storm because of numerous challenges that have to be crossed as a responsible father.

Honestly, pressure to hustle often conflicts with the desire to be present for the majority of modern fathers. They often fight with the guilt of missing a recital to pay for the recital’s school fees and to balance work-life balance.

Also, as children grow, the dynamic changes, so a responsible father must learn to listen more than he talks or teaches his children. This will allow the children to move closer to their fathers and voice their inner disturbances. The old-school era of “because I said so” clashes with the modern child’s need for validation and explanation.

A responsible father is expected to be stoic, yet he must also teach the children that there is nothing wrong with crying when necessary, as life will not always be a bed of roses.

In all honesty, navigating this double standard is one of the heaviest parts of the load which fathers must carry for the benefit of the family.

As we celebrate Father’s Day, the greatest gift a family can give a father is not material items but the unburdening of the soul by way of saying kind words to the responsible fathers in the house. Children say, “Father, I appreciate you.” Wife or mother says, “Father of my children, I appreciate you.” This makes fathers feel good and lessens the load they carry. Such sweet and appreciative words also validate the sleepless nights and the missed opportunities. It is also an acknowledgment of the fact that his hard work for the family has not gone unnoticed. For a father, knowing that his children are growing into kind, responsible, and happy human beings is the ultimate payoff, and he will be happy within himself. Also, when a responsible wife acknowledges the efforts of her husband, it strengthens the partnership that keeps the family unit strong and moving progressively.

On this note, Father’s Day is not just a celebration, but a day of reflection and refreshing the moments of the past and thinking of the future of the family. It is also a day that the wife and children look at the responsible man in the room and recognize the “neck load” he carries for the family. It is a day to say to the responsible father, “I see you, see the weight you bear, and I am grateful.”

A responsible father is not born; he is forged in the fire of minutes, seconds, hours, days, weeks, months, and years of trials. So, they are the silent family heroes who carry the heavy end of the log. Therefore, as we mark Father’s Day in Nigeria today, let us remember that the best way to appreciate the responsible father in the house is not to add to their burdens, but to assist them lay them down, with love, respect, and genuine gratitude for keeping the family together.

Happy Father’s Day to the responsible father in the house.

by Jimoh, L. Adewale – Atoba, Ph.D.
[email protected]
Olubakin’s Compound,
Obaagun, Osun State